Saturday, October 25, 2008
no one noes wad we really are thinking.
we wanna be the miracle maker.
but the reality had knock us down.
listening to 'image me without you'
i miss you suddenly...
full of tots in my mind too.
problems i had.
negative thinking i had.
stubborn thinking i had.
feeling down.
misunderstanding by others?
hu can i pour to?
i told u.
but no response was from u.
no care-ness from u at all.
im so lost of words.
and i decide not to trouble u so much bout me.
cus ur reaction will only disappoint me.
so i chosen to lock my everything up.
u always tot i did not care bout ur feelings.
u always tot i did not stand in ur shoes n think.
u always tot im caring for myself only.
doesnt mean i kept quiet means i agreed to everything.
somethings doesnt need to be shown.
i always believe
if someone really understand u
they wont hold any suspicious or negative thinking on u.
if it is so,
take out n speak.
not hiding within urself.
ownself have ur thinkings
start thinking positive n assuming
when everything starts to turn bad
den brings out to talk
it will be too late by then.
some things im really tired to clarify.
some things im really tired to explain.
i may be in the wrong to keep dumb.
wad is the cause of this?
u should noe better den me isnt it?
even if i chosen to voice out?
wad will happen?
u wud say i did not care bout ur feelings
or u yourself will keep dumb.
its been a long time since i had this fear feeling
it came back once again
i tried hiding,
but my name is still called
'KE XIN !'
my heart pound fast...
wad am i suppose to do to escaspe this scary feeling from u?
i tried to ask someone for help.
i tried to voice out.
but to my surprised..
u dun care at all.
U wud only use ur thinkings on me
u wud only use ur strength on me
cant u just sit down n listen to me?
cant u?
will it be better to use ur force?
i dun understand.
i miss him ..
Please note: my post does NOT refer to one person only.
NO MIS-UNDERSTANDING please
YYY
im lOving iiu .
10:06 AM
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Douu`Bann - Just sitting beside
右手边 sang by 光良
静静地坐在你的身边
还会有多少这样的时间
我要迎着这窗外的光线
我要迎着这窗外的光线
牢牢的记住你微笑的侧脸
我说了离别不会伤悲
这是我对你唯一的欺骗
因为我最喜欢你的双眼
那么美 不适合掉眼泪
你要好好的去飞
不需要对我想念
我会默默地留下右手边的座位
有一天 当你看过世界
再决定你降落的地点
而我也会继续地
奔驰在这长长的街
左手边是我的心
右手边没有谁
为了你
再寂寞我都可以成全
因为我相信
说过了再见
一定会再见
左手边 sang by 郭美美
风吹过蓝天
在下雨之间
云能飞多远
爱它偶尔很甜
偶尔也很咸
我已经体验
我们来回的悠闲
有一些已经不见
这些年 Oh
hey 你说的明天
是一种信念
还是封信件
对 爱不是阴天
也不是明天
它好难分辨
可是我的心里面
有种感觉很特别
没人了解
我走在左边
你的左边
看得见幸福的平原
也许你并不会察觉
这就是我的 无声的冒险
我走过晴天 阴天或雨天
那几年就叫做永远
这一切消失之前
我会对自己说
我要永远
永远在你左手边
the Right & Left Hand.
i guess you must be wondering why am i so direct n heartless to actually voice out
GIVE UP
i've my reason.
我给你最后的疼爱是手放开
i know the harder we hold
the more miserable we will be
i noe the both of us are actually tired
i noe the both of us actually dunno wad we are supposed to do
just like u said
we cant go back to the past
its true
i didnt say it out easily
i noe eu are really xing ku
it pains me to see u far away from my side
it pains me to see u being the one to give in
i hate to see u hiding ur cries under ur blanket
i hate to see u hiding ur tears with ur big laughter n smile
i hate to see u act as if nothing happens!
i tot at least u would hold me back that night.
i tried to walk slower..
a little slower..
down the stairs...
no reaction from u..
and i noe.
u agreed too!
maybe having me as ur ahhdouu
the job is too stressful to u
so this ahhdouu is going to apply a no pay leave
is it granted?
i dunno when ill be back..
maybe after ur words to me?
maybe after u tell me
"please come back?"
maybe after some things?
i dunno..
i just miss u so...
Li Sheng Jie -手放开
seems really suit..
i hope u noe i chosen to do it this way is becos
i wish u can go further.
SMILE ... for the sweet and happy memories
FROWN ... for yesterday's unfortunate
GRIEVE ... for things that happened
MISS ...for the closeness before
RELIEVED ... for at least you did tried you best
must be surprised why i noe this phrase dedicated by Miss Lee Ahhbann?
yes! its ME !
i found it !
where did u placed it?
yes!
in #234 dustbin !
i kept it !
its really a good describe.
you may be thinking i tot im too unfortunate
or too pityful?
no... seriously no..
just like you said..
i dun understand you
you dun understand me.
and from that night.
i was shocked to see this true colours of you
you are too unfamiliar to me
you are so different
it shocks me alot.
your reaction.
your words.
your movement.
i tried to save it if you notice.
but u do it your way.
just wanted to tell you
its the first time i did not cried for our sistership
should i said im strong enuff?
or ...?
i actually hold back successfully in front of him.
its true im heart pain at least.
u always choose to kept quiet and
let nature take its course
so i chosen to step forward.
our sistership anniversary` 16o2o9 - do u still rmb ?
just wanted to say.
U are still my Lee Ahh Bann !
Not my Kelly Lee !
i dun like Kelly Lee at all!
wad i love the most is still
Ahh Bann Lee Xiao Wei !
You will always be!
Ahh Bann is a name i gave you
and i hope you would hold it forever
the 'Thanks for everything; Tops
The 'Xiang You Zou, Xiang Zuo Zo' Key Chains
the 'Ink' bag
the 'Letters'
The 'Photos'
The 'Army skirt'
the '10 paper boats'
the 'panty'
the Melody shirt'
the everything n everything..
Keeps well...
ill want to see it one day.
Smile Aplenty like YOU always were in the past
No faking is allowed !
You're unreplaceable .... <3
YYY
im lOving iiu .
12:10 AM
Friday, October 10, 2008
Hey Kexin
How are you, Kexin
Kexin, Good Night!
Good Morning, Kexin
Hi Kexin.
Ke Xin, where are you.
----
all the 'Ke Xin' that is called
i felt so unfamiliar
hearing this name
it just seems so mo sheng
i dunno why
i just felt this name too unfamiliar
im not suiting this name anymore...
why wud i have this feel?
i dun understand..
YYY
im lOving iiu .
1:45 AM
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
had a long chat with you - 2 hours
im more clearer with my road now
im more clear on wad to do now
the stubborn side of me
the changes of me from the past till now
the kind of sistership we are gaining for
the kind of sistership we are looking for
the negative thinking we had
the positive thinking we had
the 'standing in each other' shoes.
the words that makes each other turn dumb.
the hurtful feeling we gave each other
the small actions of us that brightens our days
the bit by bit 'jiayoous' we had for our friendship
finally we know
wad we had been doing is wrong coming with some right
finally we know
wad we are supposed to do on our next step
are we going to just stop laidat?
are we going to go on further?
are we going to ignore wad others say?
are we going to take more advice?
all i i noe is we are moving on~
finally i saw the light in our sister ship
i dunno when will the day comes that will makes us go back again
but i really wanna give last try
just once will do!
for our hard earn sistership
we are going to celebrate our anniversary for the following 10 - 20 years n so on.
Lets JIA YOOUS !! =)
Douu`Bann
YYY
im lOving iiu .
4:21 PM
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
finally we got a chance to meet up and
talk talk talk
thanks for your care and concern
ride me to the nearest 7-eleven
back to my house nearby
ate the ice cream
drink the un-opened yakult
pour out my everything
im more better now
thanks for your ears.
eu nv failed to hear my worries
and still a really good friend - the most special one
did i hurt you in anywhere?
i hope not.
thanks to you - Mr Turtle!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
6:12 PM
Monday, October 06, 2008
sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
im no longer the simple n innocent gal anymore.
i've go over my own limits.
Friends have to change their opinions towards me.
im no longer the old kexin.
but a changed person which i myself cant accept at all !
wad am i supposed to do?
im LOST !
really lost.
i seems to have stuck
i dunno which road should i go now.
everything is happening too fast.
i wish i cud go back.
but the fact is stopping me
there is full of bacteria within me which i cant face
have we ever think of the consequences?
i wish i cud hide from you.
i didnt noe why.
im just afraid to face you.
maybe facing you
you will remind me of what happen once again
facing her
i feel so much guilty
how will she feels when she came to noe about it?
i've let her down
really down
im disappointed in myself to have blind myself deeply
R E G R E T ~
LEAVE ME ALONE
YYY
im lOving iiu .
7:49 PM
