Thursday, April 24, 2008
Should i? Can I? Will I? Shall I? Am I? Must I?
Yesterday Night went East Coast.
the scenery was beautiful! Especially at Night!
I did not cross the 'memories boundaries' which we walk before.
i step back when i reaches there and U-turn.
What shall i do to make myself stand firm n not keep wobbling?
We promise to hold hand in hand and walk up the staircase.
Every step we walked up, we met alot of good and bad things
we will always take the effort to look back at the stairs we climbed on.
But as days n weeks goes by, we dont even bother to look back
and just pulling each other up unwillingly.
Im glad we managed to climb to storey 6 plus.
and again
without hesitating
without looking back
eu decide to jump down to storey 1 and start looking for another
leaving me at storey 6+
dunno if i shud jump down too?
or continue standing at that storey.
Is this a retribution?
Because i've hurts someone badly before
without considering his feeling and
now it happens to me.
issit true?
Isnt it ridiculous?
I noe i shouldnt have done it!
But i just love doing it!
Did something goes wrong somewhere?
I tried to hide from eu!
Shud said i've never wanted eu to noe.
but the uneasy feeling just came out unknowingly
eu can feel it too!
im surprised!
In the end, i Pour to eu!
thinking maybe eu would knock my sense up,
thinking maybe eu would reprimand me
but i was totally wrong!
eu actually told me if it was eu, eu would done it too!
I admit at that moment
i was surprised by ur replies
i even have this thought that im doing the right thing ( at that very moment)
But the next thought was, i was wrong!
As i said, i just want to do it!
eu told me to go with the flow.
Yes! I will!
But believe me, ill not let the matter turn worsen!
And becos of this, i feel much related n closer to eu!
i've found out that there's nothing i can hide from eu!
becos i would pour to eu eventually
i dun care if it was my evil, kind, bad n good thoughts n actions!
i would just want to pour to eu!
and ONLY YOU !
im not afraid that eu would said
"why have eu become laidat? Cant eu just stand up and be strong?
Cant eu just wake up? Cant eu just be the right hand i noe?"
im not afraid at all!
Becos i noe,
whatever actions I do
eu would stand in my shoes and
eu would understand i do it for certain reason.
And eu are waiting patiently for me to get back to the shore to where eu are standing and gave me a hand!
Am i right to say this?
I can understand eu are also LOST.
Eu dunno how to help me up too
Just do it ur own way gal!
lOvees!
How to deal with break-up?
People who have been out of love say,"love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop."
But tears are usually not enuff to chase away pain that accompanies a breakup.
When the person eu love and have spent so many happy times with
suddenly leaves ur life,
eu may feel as if ur whole identity has been shattered- eu dont know who eu are any longer
eu may feel lost,
and feel like eu could never recover from the pain ever again.
but do keep this in mind;
"there will always be sunshine and even rainbow, after the rain."
So until then, here are some things eu can do,
or how eu can help ur friend to go thru e painful post-breakup period easier.
1) Facing the Music
First of all,dont deny that the breakup had happened.
it may seem difficult to accept that the
love eu tot wud last for the rest of ur life had such an abrupt end,
but the sooner eu accept e fact tat the r/s is over, e better it is for eu!
Dont lose urself in self-pity, or keep asking yourself why things turn out this way.
just try to get used to the idea that eu are single-for now.
2) Cry Your Heart Out
Crying may seem the most obvious things to do,
but there are times that it's not easy to cry even though eu really want to.
eu could still be v numb abt the experience,
or eu cud be in denial of losing someone eu really love
eu might even want to act tough and show to urself and all those around eu
that eu dont care about the breakup-ur partner means nth to eu, eu may say.
Holding on to ur anger will only cause urself more stress, and end up feeling miserable.
So, Let urself CRY!
After a good cry, eu'll not only feel relieved, but also be able to eat and sleep alot easier.
Avoid going to places that remind eu of ur ex if eu think that it will make matter worse.
3) Time for Friends
Its no matter hu left whom, or how much love there was between two partners
the hurt that comes from a breakup often seems insurmountable
its impossible to go thru a breakup w/o the support of friends
These are people hu love eu, support eu, and know eu better than anybody!
They'll always know ur back - they saw eu falling in love, know the full story of wad happened - so they will be willing to listen to eu and help eu thru this rough patch.
Be A Friend
Getting thru a breakup isnt easy, and friends play a big part in the recovery process. If u've got a friend hu is going thru a particularly difficult breakup, here's what eu can do to help him or her out!
- Spend time w ur friend, Make an effort to have long chats on the phone. text to see how they are, and meeting up is the ideal way of being there for them.
- Encourage ur friends to talk things out, and be a good listener. Make sure eu have lotsa tissue in hands.
- Try distracting ur friend out of misery. Movies, sightseeing, outdoor activities and games are good ways. - avoid going to places they went with their ex before.
- bring ur friend out n indulge in chocolates, massages, facials, shopping sprees, or even arcade games tgt - whatever lets him or her concentrate on pleasure instead of pain.
- Send a card, give a call or text them to lift ur friend's spirits if eu cant be there in person. Let them noe eu are there for them.
- Be patient. some things take a long time to get over. Dont hurry them to get over the pain even though eu mean well, because they are already under enuff stress as it is!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
1:40 PM
Monday, April 21, 2008
finally one month had past! shud i said "Happy Separated One Month" or ... ?
am i healed?
am i alrights?
am i fine?
i dunno.
people said relationship can be salvage.
izzit true?
i tried asking among my friends.
Yes! they managed to save their relationship!
no matter is quarrellings, fightings, feelings faded, timer..
their relationship is save back again!
isnt it surprised?!
i tried asking myself,
can i?
am i able to do it?
am i too foolish?
why am i making myself so miserable?
i dun understand either
everything is too coincidence!
Everywhere I go! Anywhere! Just Name it!
There is ur Shadow!
i tried to let eu leave my mind for a second
but...
the next second eu came n knock on my mind again
Everything i see relates to eu.
The numbers, the cartoon character, the songs, etc
What can i do?
Bring a smile and just walk straight.
Everyone started asking me,
"hey! how's eu n ur boyfriend?, where's ur boyfriend?, i just got to noe, eu had a boyfriend!"
How am i able to answer them?
I cant bring myself to tell them we had gone separated ways.
so, i just told them 'he's not free!, we are fine!'
is this avoiding or too stupid to not accept the facts that i had alr lost eu?
I dun even understand myself.
am i still willing to wait? or im starting to give up?
i just cant control myself!
everytime i saw something nice, i wud have this urge to buy for eu.
can i? i hold back once again
The first time eu drop ur tears in front of me.
i was lost of words.
lost of actions
my heart was shouting for help
my mind asking me what shud i do
no answer came out
i started to had this fear
i started to walk far away from eu
finally~ im back home.
i feel much relieved!
but the next moment
i regretted!
i shouldnt have walk off just laidat leaving eu behind.
i noe eu are tired
i noe what eu want
i noe eu need a hand
i noe eu need love n care now
i noe eu need understanding
i noe eu need more colours in ur life
i told eu i may not be the one or im not the one
but eu told me
eu wanna see how our storys goes
i kept silent
i asked myself will i be happier with eu?
i asked myself will eu treasure me more?
i asked myself will we be able to go on?
i asked myself will eu hold my hands tightly when that day comes?
i asked myself will eu treat me better?
i asked, i asked, i asked..
den i started to find out..
yes! eu would surely do it!
but will it be forever?
or after a couple of months, we are sick n tired n leave again?
the trust isnt there yet.
the promise isnt there yet
the actions isnt there yet
the feelings isnt there yet
we are too young!
our thinkings isnt the same.
our goals.
our communication
everything n everything!!
There's too much to worried Boy!
it isn that easy!
Our path is still long
Dont eu feel ashamed of urself?
telling me when eu are in need of help, no one help eu.
going around cheating people
bringing harm to ur parents
den come here telling me how pity eu are when all is just AN ACT!
Search ur heart Gal!
Stop taking ur friends for granted!
eu are using up our trust.
eu are ruining urself!
Wake up Gal!
Seriously, i wud wish to give eu a tight slap!
a big scolding!
a huge lecture!
but..
will this help?
i doubt!
God! what can i do?
stay by urself and do nothing?
opening my eyes seeing eu do all those harmful things n not stopping eu?
i dunno!
what actually do eu want from me?
our friendship had been going thru alot of test.
had we passed? or had we failed?
the results isnt out yet!
eu wanna noe when will the results shown?
on the day we leave the world!
i have to n i want to believe,
till that day, even everyone leaves us,
we would still stand hand in hand, back to back!
Keep Going Bann`Douu!
I Love You!
KEXIN IS BACK ! =))
YYY
im lOving iiu .
11:09 PM
