Thursday, March 27, 2008
In The Past Is a Dazzling Stone But Now It Doesnt Shine Anymore
Mr Pig;Tweety;Mr Violent;Darling;Laogong; Mr YapMrs Pig;Sylvester;Mrs Violent;Dear;Laopo; Mrs Yap
eu created our stories on 28o8o7-12.17am and eu stops it at 21o3o8-10.34pm
分手只用了一分钟而已!
这感觉已经不对
我努力在挽回
曾经我们觉得
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次为了这个原因吵
但是我们依然相信我们会永远
因为我们了解到
Men are from MARS
Women are from VENUS
但是
你的不安，赢得你信任
我也得到你残忍的淘汰!
my heart is really pain!
really really pain.
i tot i would be happier to at least have the chance to leave this miserable life
i tot i wont feel pain n will be able to let go very freely
but i was totally wrong!
my heart is getting more n more pain as the minutes n hours goes by!
eu hurts me real deep, real deep!
its that kind of pain which i had never felt before!
unbearable n hard to breathe.
every pain that came makes me punch my heart hardly thinking it may ease abit.
eu had succeed in making me forget my past love life.
eu had succeed in making me feel eu are the one
eu had succeed by entering my heart
eu had succeed in making me bleeds
eu had succeed in everything
eu told me u came out with this decision is becos ur love for me had fade
eu told me eu had this thinking is during ur exam period- end of January
but eu didnt mention anything to me
till March 11, i tot we are still fine just that we didnt meet up much
do eu still rmb last year i went to Malaysia for a week?
Do eu know when i came back, my love had fade?
do eu know actually i didnt want to meet up with eu when eu wanted to?
but i still meet up!
cus i believe our love isnt that weak!
and i noe we will be able to find back the feelings.
i trust that eu will hold my hand tightly from the day i said 'Choice 1'
i trust that we will go on till the day we lost our breathe
alot of times i cant hold anymore, i decide to end this relationship too,
im scared of ur control, im scared of ur temper
im scared of ur everything!
but what did i do?
I ACCEPT all becos I LOVE EU !
i believe we will walk thru everything!
but now,
eu told me eu had fear in going out with me
eu told me eu are scared to meet me
have eu ever mention it to me?
do eu noe how pain it is for me to hear this from ur mouth?
i told eu before bout my dreams.
eu told me it is not true.
and Laopo is a work for eu to call never ending.
but now?
told eu before im afraid after being with eu ill change to a different kexin.
but eu say if that happens, eu will still stay by my side and change me back.
Now?
1) (space) zfd vlf hlj skgn z...(space) h ndzfg
2) cl (space) h (space) dfh (space) dxg (space) (space) df gl njfg hlj zbzk (space) 3) :jg hlj (space) (space) j (space)(space) df l (space) d:>z (space) d k (space) (space) h ndzfgv
this is the three things eu told me, eu wanted to do to me.
Till now, i dun even noe what it is. can i noe it?
I dun understand why when eu were thinking of breaking,
you didnt mention anything to me,
letting me tot we're fine.
If eu tell me, at least i can try my best to save it.
I dun understand why ur feelings fade so fast.
Everywhere I go is ur shadow.
As long as there is any places we went together before
there would be ur shadow, Bus,MRT,etc...
Too much of ur shadow makes my heart bleeds alot!
Seeing things related to us, bleeds more! - 28, 217, Tweety, Sylvester, etc...
Listening to songs related to us hurts me even more! - That's when I Love You, 世界唯一的你，因为我相信，我一直都在,Till the end, etc...
Before eu made the decision,
I was still planning on how to celebrate our 7th Month. - 28o7o8
But all is ruin by YOU !
By touching EVERYTHING in me and leave just laidat makes eu feel better?
leaving me alone to handle this painful wound created by YOU !
I dun understand why guys like to say 'break-up' using SMS?
Cant they just face their partner and say it?
have the courage to face your partner when wooing them but no courage when asked for 'break-up'
Do eu noe how uneasy am i not receiving ur missed call and sms?
Not missing call n sms eu makes me feel uneasy too!
Every minute every hour i would start asking myself,
'what are eu doing at this time?' ,
'how are eu feeling?' ,
'feeling Stress today?' ,
'Tired today?' ,etc....
Im worried bout eu too!
Dunno if eu had enuff water?
cause eu catch a cold easily.
have ur meals regularly?
cause eu had gastric pain.
still continue eating instant noodles? -that will make ur hair falls alot!
spending ur money within ur control?
have sufficient sleep?
leg still pain due to playing?
thumb still okaees?, etc...
Worried... ... ... ... ... ...
Will eu still think of me?
Will eu still think of our past memories?
Will eu still miss me?
Are eu hurts?
or too happy to finally have freedom?
I always believe im the last gal.
I always believe im urs forever.
i always believe eu wont let go of my hands
i tot eu wud be my last stop
Till now, i still cant believe i had actually lost you!
i cant believe from ur so called 'lifetime partner' had downgrad to 'friend'!
i dun wan to be ONLY ur friend! can eu understand?
i promise you i wont leave you no matter what.
Even if eu are too possesive, too stubborn, too hot-tempered,
ill still accept and love for what eu are!
and now, eu are just leaving me with just a sorry.
What am i to eu?
You are the first guy that touches n seen everything
And you are leaving just laidat.
Am I that cheap to you?
Am i that Kinda of gal?
Im SERIOUSLY hurts by YOU!
Its so hard to bring a smile everywhere i go.
its so hard to act as if im fine and nothing happens when actually the pain in my heart is killing me.
Thinking in the future, eu would fall for other gals.
made me so so pain!
I cant afford to hold on if eu really did fall for other gals n flirt with them!
Holding their hands if they are cold,
kissing their lips,
touching their waist,
hugging them
when actually its done on me once before!
i NOE im stupid to think laidat
but... i just CANT ACCEPT it!
for all I can say is ' IM SERIOUSLY HURTS BY YOU!
I would rather eu remain treating me cold den asking for break-up!
Oh My God!
Its unbearable!!
I miss ur Mr Pig show.
Eu promised to show it to me during our half year.
but now....
Everyone said:
I derserve a better guy,
eu are not the type that will be in relationship for long,
at least im the one eu put alot of effort in,
at least im the one eu stay ur love for long,
But im still hurts!
I dun wan to be ONLY ur past n the first gal eu actually ... ... ...
I wanna be the ONE AND ONLY eu love in all ur life!
i wan to walk with eu till we fall asleep in coffin.
I wud nv wish bad things but i dun wish eu well.
it hurts to noe u'll never be there.
it's painful to see ur face everywhere
it was eu hu choose to end it like eu did in the past
When you are gone
The words i need to hear and our memories always get me thru the days and make it okaees
Everything that I do reminds me of YOU!
The clothes eu left behind, they smell just like eu!
All i ever wanted was for eu to noe,
everything I'd do I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe!
Po go sip eo yo = I MISS YOU
You told me eu love me!
If eu are not going to take responsibility for other guy's baby
den DON'T bullshit!
From the day eu say you will do nothing with me and i misunderstood it.
we had alr build a wall in between if eu notice
its hard for us to walk into each other heart once again.
we need time to start all over again
its too hard to be back to normal so easily again
becos..
I can see behind every talks,
smile n laughter hides something.
I dunno if it was eu hu choose to not voice anything in order not to make things worsen
OR i choose to keep silent.
We both didnt tried hard to save anything
shud say we are avoiding the problems
OR we choose to leave it aside bahhs
I understand its no use blaming each other
cus having this type of problems
both parties held a responsibility
it was US hu creates it!
whether to leave or save it is still up to OUR decision
and i believe we are not going to leave it,
cuss our PROMISE towards each other is NOT empty!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
9:48 AM
Thursday, March 20, 2008
i feel like scolding bad words now!
Arghhs!
S***** F***** !!!!
F****** A****** !!!!
anyone have rooms to rent out?
i need it asap!
contact me, if eu have!
thankks!
yesterday, met up with eu for dinner.
seriously, i wish to give eu a goodbye kiss.
but i just dun dare.
haiis.
anyway, the dinner, i really enjoyed!
thankks!
my heart tears once again!
walking along the streets,
tears dropping,
leg turning weak,
walking with no strength
i feel like just lying on the road.
everyone walk past me,
get frightened too.
its too pain!
unbearable!
Call eu, hang fone.
cant call thru.
my heart totally drop to the ground!
its too PAIN !!
really pain!
anyway, thanks fot the hello panda eu bought for me.
you noe hu you are.
thankks alot too!
and ur funny faces! =D
thankks alOtts!
what do eu actually want from me?
i dunno!
i tried!
i tried n tried!
tried n tried n tried!
what did i get in the end?
im tired le!
seriously,
im tired le!
eu have choosen ur own routine.
i dunno to follow or walk away.
eu decide.
the final decision is still urs.
ill respect!
can i still request?
can i still msg eu?
can i still call eu?
can i still see eu?
will i still dare to request?
will i still received ur msg?
will i still received ur calls?
will i still sees you?
treasure whatever eu have now,
eu wont noe what happen to ur love ones, the next minute!
i do treasure eu!
do eu?
i dunno if i shud or i shud not.
i feel like leaving this complicated country!
this complicated life im having now
eu may say im avoiding,
whatever! i dun care!
maybe leave for sometime. - 1 month? half a year? or 3 months? or?
no one cares too!
ill leave without informing, - im sorry!
pardon me please!
i need some rest!
i need to clear my mind.
to leave or not to,
decision is urs?
or mine?
heart-aching
YYY
im lOving iiu .
11:17 PM
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Remember this.
If you ever need me and I’m not around,
just wait for me.
Because I’ll always be here.
I am just like the sun and you the flower.
I’ll provide sunlight for you to blossom.
Sometimes,
clouds will prevent me from reaching you.
But you’ll know that I’m always trying to reach you.
Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can’t receive my sunlight.
isnt it touching? Loves!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
10:38 PM
Monday, March 17, 2008
finally! i understand everything!
ur everything towards me.
i seriously understand le!
im no longer important to eu.
im NOTHING!
i noe what to do.
and i noe eu would find it better this way!
ill face n accept it!
i dunno what makes eu become laidat!
i dun even noe what comes in between.
im just accomodating!
i have alot alot to tell eu!
im missing eu real much!
suddenly i feel so empty.
someone had left.
anyway, i've move house le! =)
was busy packing n cleaning this few days.
my life will still goes on!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
5:09 PM
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
friends should give unconditional love.
couples should give unconditional love.
everything has come to a stop.
eu had created a full-stop which is not what i want!
blame it on my selfishness!
blame me for whatever it is!
ill stay far from eu too.
i guess this would be what eu want too.
i will do nothing with eu too.
just a little time eu oso cant give me.
its okaees.
im sorry for leaving eu in a maze.
blame me!
hate me!
scold me!
i hope eu will have better times ahead!
i wont bother eu anymore too!
i tot eu could understand.
but i didnt noe,
eu actually get it wrong.
do eu noe how much i hate my life now?
i just cant help blaming!
for those who love me, hate me please, leave me please!
for those hu hate me, hate me more, leave me please!
for those hu neither love nor hate me, leave me please!
im just a evil girl!
i have a evil heart!
im not the gal which eu all noe!
im not the Kexin eu all noe!
im just a selfish person!
im just a stupid person who dunno what treasuring means!
im just a useless person who ruins everything with my own hands!
makes me lost everything!
thankks!
ill be very very happy !!!
wahahaha!!!
An evil gal like me dun deserve any love!
thinking im childish now?
thinking im irrational?
thinking im petty?
thinking im crazy?
whatever it is!
I TOTALLY SUCKS !!!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
11:42 PM
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
can i tell eu i dun want to receive ur calls?
can i tell eu not to appear in front of me for the time being?
receiving ur calls, ill get irritated,
it may even spoilt my mood.
im sorry to say this,
i didnt want it to.
but i just feel this way.
maybe im being too lonely,
no laughter anymore,
that is why.
im really sorry!
i really wish to see eu,
i even wish to find eu,
but ... ... ... ...
will it turn out better?
for now, i really wish to stay away from eu.
as far as possible.
as long as i wont see eu, wont received ur calls.
i dun understand why either.
why has everything turn out laidat?
why we turn out laidat?
im disappointed!
Maybe time will solve everything.
Do eu noe how much i miss eu?
do eu noe how much i yearn to see eu?
do eu noe, do eu noe, do eu noe???
haiis.
I just cant stop the problems from repeating!
what a *******person am i !!!!!!!!
I HATE MYSELF!!!
i hate myself for being laidat!
can i ask, 'where are eu?'
maybe eu would find me selfish.
maybe eu would find me useless.
maybe eu would find me stupid.
what ever it is...
im sorry!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
9:58 PM
Monday, March 10, 2008
was packing my things this few days.
cus im moving house soon.
i didnt noe i was so crazy for 5566 in the past till i pack my cupboard.
Goodness!!!
there's 5566 cut magazine, postcard, album, photo, signature etc.
wahahas.
i cant help laughing at myself.
lOls
Ohya! i saw the shoelace eu gave me before - blue n white square pattern
i wore it once and keep it till now.
do eu want it back?
tried wearing those shorts that i cant wear in the past few months.
Wow! to my surprised it FITS me !!
i slim down man! - cheers*
hohoOs.
injuries on my leg,
the skin is torn.
so pain man!
i hate it when people look at my wound.
i find it so disgusting.
when can it recover?
my poor leg.
haiis
its true why izzit always must be eu calling me,
and not i call eu.
its bcos i find that everytime i called eu,
either eu are not free or
chat awhile, eu would ask to hang up. - happens alot of time
i cant use phone at night too,
my daddy is around.
even if i need eu, i wud wonder whether shud i call eu.
but i noe, even if i called, eu wouldnt come,
that is why i changed my mind.
maybe eu would say 'eu nv tried, how eu noe?'
I Do Noe! - wont elaborate
Sometimes even if i need eu real much,
i would still do a double thinking,
worried that the care i want for the outcome isnt what eu give
n in the end im the one getting hurts once again.
As expected, i knew the days has came.
we hadnt meet up for more than a week.
eu may find it alright.
Eu may say 'its fine with me!'
eu may say 'ok wad!'
but ????
haiiis......
i understand !!
i really understand!!!
but i just cant help blaming eu n me!
scold me for being so not understanding!
eu told me eu treasure me!
eu told me in ur heart there's still me.
are eu just saying for the sake of saying?
ur actions DOESNT tells at all!
the fake smile we had,
spolit everything!
betray our heart!
I HATE IT !
what have we really done?
we are drifting far apart !
i get irritates when receiving ur calls now.
i hate it even more when eu call to just talk bout that!
i hate it when eu are selfish!
always asking me to be understanding, eu?
have eu?
have eu ever tried standing in my shoes?
sometimes yes, sometimes no.
me too! i admit!
I want more care from eu!
I want more love from eu!
but... ... ...
I guess... im not fit to get either one.
haiis.
towards eu, i feel like avoiding.
i feel like just hiding myself up,
stop getting any phone calls or sms from eu,
i wanna FREEZE myself for the time being.
maybe one day, when i sees eu,
my smile would be brighter!
I hope eu had ur happy times ahead!
im tired of saying things repeatedly!
i hate the feelings that i dun wan, coming back repeatedly!
thanks for holding on to my hands when crossing the road.
i feel needed n loved by eu!
===== I Could Never Be The One! =====
YYY
im lOving iiu .
11:20 PM
Friday, March 07, 2008
for my practical training,
broke a mirror,
bike fall on a guy's back
lucky he is fine! - im sorry!!
Engine stall!
Fall Down from bike
Burn my leg again!
Damn Pain till i cant endure!
can feel my wound is heating.
tears kept flowing down - teary eyes
stupid instructor still gossip bout me as if i cant understand hokkien!
Arghhs!
Unlucky day lOhhs!
Such a Big Lump of burn on my leg! - hui rong
Goodness!
my right leg turning more n more ugly le!
Hell!!!
Cant walk at all!
stupid instructor still ask ' why didnt eu continue the lesson?'
Im in damn Pain! How am i to continue?
still fail !
was in a very very lousy mood after all this!
kept crying n crying.
looking at my handphone, thinking of ringing eu
but... i hold back once again!
i dunno why towards eu i feel so stranger.
i shouldnt have this feeling.
izzit becos too long we didnt chat on fone?
izzit too long we hadnt meet up?
or izzit our sms are getting more and more shorter?
i dun understand why!
I Miss You Alot!
i got alOt wanna tell eu!
but.....
it seems too late.
eu have ur own entertainment till eu left with no time for me.
Enjoy ! I hope eu are having Fun wherever eu go!
saw this idiotic uncle when i was on my way home at night.
asking me " Gal! want me Lobang eu? "
cycling on his bicycle somemore.
Eeeerrrr....
Say is easier den done!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
8:58 PM
Thursday, March 06, 2008
getting more n more worried as the days goes by.
wanna confide eu..
but after looking at eu..
i close everything..
wanna see eu so much..
but eu are busy..
noeing eu are tired after everything..
makes me change my mind..
i cant be so selfish to think of myself only.
standing in ur shoes, i noe eu are tired.
i noe eu are stressing with ur own things too..
that is why, i kept quiet!
sorry for that!
initially i wish to face this alone.
but.. am i able to do it?
i seriously NEED EU !! =(
too much things happening around.
makes me lost of directions.
there's is too much things for me too take care!
when can everything just STOP!
Got my Grades for my papers.
got straight 3F n 1C !
I was SHOCK!
i studied so hard for those papers!
i had so much confident for my papers that i'll pass.
but!!!!! ??????
i tot the person is not me.
i double-check!
i tot the NRIC is not mine.
i double-check!
Hell!!!
Im Damn Disappointed!!!
Gonna take Sub-Paper for this. Haiis..
My brother went for indonesia trip - 4days 3 nights
She's leaving for sure!
He cares no more!
No one can stop her!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
1:59 PM
