Thursday, January 17, 2008
yesterday is another waterfall for me AGAIN! i hate this type of me! i dun understand why eu all cant accept him! i dun understand why cant eu stand in my shoes n think. and stop using the ASSUME to say me! i HATE it! i seriously hate it! was unable to relax my mind. At home in my room kept crying. msg him TWICE ! he didnt call me at all! he didnt even noe how much i need him.
went out of my house to relax my mood. den i saw Xian Hao below my house again. i tot i could control my tears, but my eyes were swollen n red. walking towards him n ask ' why were eu here?' den he replies'why eu cried?!' i shouted at him 'IM ASKING EU WHY ARE YOU HERE!!' den i walk off without controlling my tears. he chase after me calling out my names twice! Thankks Xian Hao! and... ... im really sorry for shouting at eu twice which this matters doesnt concern eu at all. im really sorry. im really in a lousy mood yesterday! ill stay HAPPY! =))
kept walking n walking alOne around the HDB flat crying den i came to a car park near to the big playground. standing up there, looking at the stars, crying. starting to think 'what had actually happen to me? all this that happen izzit what i wish for? where are you?!!' bout 1 hour den i walk home slowly. back home, i tot i would be alright. but not at all. the tears is still falling.i called eu n asked 'not sleeping ah?' eu replies in that normal tone, 'going le lOhhs. why?' im totally... ... telling eu ' nothing. go sleep lOhhs! ' den i called ahh bann, she never pick up due to some reason. i can understand.
have eu ever tried understanding me? i've tried understanding you. but eu just wont let me go into ur world. Do eu understand e stress im having? do eu noe what my heart really wants? when i needed eu real much, where are eu? when im having stress with my motor, where are you? when im stress, where are you? when im inside my room crying, where are you? when im sick, where are you? i'll help eu to answer!!! You are sleeping, shopping and work!!!
i can understand eu have stress n unhappiness too! but! did eu tried sharing it with me? you would rather share with her than me! what am i in ur heart? Just another person? or stranger? if i wanna see ur real n bright smile, only she is able to do it!! Eu told me, she n I are different! How are we differernt? she's ur most precious person n im just another person? Arent I important to eu too?!!!
i just hope eu can really change for the better! please!!
please take care of urself! im really worried bout eu! i hope eu will really be happy always! please! im begging eu! im started to get very very worried bout eu le! God bless eu please!!!
dun think that eu really noes me well when eu actually dont! eu dun understand the fear, the stress, the sadness n the things i actualy want! Please dun show me as if eu really do UNDERSTAND me when EU DONT at all!!
what should i do? i feel that i need to see a counsellor. am i having heart problem? Arghhs! Stupid me!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
2:24 PM
