Tuesday, December 04, 2007
i guess im falling sick soon. kept having heavy headache, flu. something wrong with my gastric i guessed. dun have any appetite at all! feel like vomiting most of the time.
Do eu really care for me? or just caring for me because eu feel that eu are supposed to care? wad i can say is ur words hurts me badly!!!
i guess this fear, stress is i brought upon myself de! if in the first place i nv choose to study in that school, this thing wont happen. if in the first place i study harder, this thing wont happen. if in the first place i say i dun wanna learn any motors, this things wont happen. there wont be stress. i guess this stupid me will ... ... ... ... i dunno...
i am very clear this is the road that i chosen, whether to end or continue is my choice. i so much feel like avoiding, but i noe it isnt helping me at all. tears kept running down my eyes. pretending to be alright, pretending to be as strong as i can in front of everybody, putting up a big smile which no one noes its fake. its really hard on me now. for now, i guess eu wont be seeing the Kexin eu all used to see le.
im really trying to be strong le... ... ...
i so much need a shoulder NOW!! just to lie on for a moment. until my tears are dried. i promise! but i guess, its impossible le!! =((
whats the purpose for me to live in this world? Do i really hate studys that much? or im just Lost of direction?
there are 8 examinations waiting for me!!! will i be facing them confidently? will i get my Dip. Cert? will my supplementary paper pass? I hope i will! and i MUST pass!!
somehow i really hope eu can study with me. not studying together in the same school with me. but just staying by my side studying our work together. revising together. just like how i accompany eu to study in the past. will this happen? or impossible? but i guessed its stupid of me to have a thinking laidat bahhs. eu had gave me an answer saying cant le. but... ... ... haiis... ...
when can all this come to an end?
God bless me please!
Everyone bless me please!!
where are eu when i need eu badly? tears dropping down my chin once again... ... ...
YYY
im lOving iiu .
5:22 PM
