Friday, December 28, 2007
HAPPY FOURTH MONTH TO ME N HIM !!
eu nv failed to make my days full of sweetness! YYY
im lOving iiu .
10:34 PM
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Christmas Dont Be Late !!! =))
anyway, we are not celebrating Christmas le due to some problems. its quite sad lahhs. but think again, also good lahhs. can save everyone's money. stay at home rest oso can right?
eu told me eu treat her more better den us is because she needs lotsa love. den wad bout us? wad bout me? seeing eu two always chatting, playing together so happily makes me feel so much like an extra or shall say a maid!! eu makes me feel im not apart of eu at all!!
seeing eu always treating him laidat makes me hard. eu may not noe how i feel, cuss i nv tell eu at all. i told eu i will surely tell eu everything, theres a moment i really did pour everything to eu! but wad did i get from eu? laugh n negative comments! are eu really the one? can eu please spare some thoughts for others n stop treating him so stranger? he didnt do anything to eu too! he's just a simple guy!
spent another boring day again. doing housework. watching tv. studying., no different from my past life too. im trying to get used to the days without him le.. n im sick of being sad again. i told myself not to rely too much on eu.. n finally i've really did my best! applause to me*
have alot to write. but... haiis... cant think of anything at the moment. have been spending my seconds, minutes n hours so slowly... ... anyone free to come over my house, just knock on my door. n ill welcome eu! sianns.. im just too SIANNS !!!!! understand? SIANNS !!!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
10:32 PM
Thursday, December 20, 2007
如果留下多一秒钟
可以减少明天想你的痛
我会愿意放下所有
交换任何一丝丝可能的占有
爱是一万公顷的森林
迷了路的却是我和你
full of feelings to write. but... its just too much until i dunno where to start le. everything is making me so puzzled!
sometimes it isnt good to talk too much. sometimes its better to hide ur sadness n worried. sometimes... ... sometimes... sometimes...
怎麽忍心怪你犯了错
怎麽忍心让你受折磨
是我给你自由过了火
我害怕一个人
为何不肯
轻轻唤我一声安慰
怎麽忍心让你受折磨
是我给你自由过了火
我害怕一个人
为何不肯
轻轻唤我一声安慰
counting down to Christmas 5 days... ... ...
YYY
im lOving iiu .
9:29 PM
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
i noe im a gal hu will fall in love easily. but at the same time i treated every relationship seriously! But cant eu all sense it!
rmb in my pervious post, i mentioned its hard to understand a person. Do eu all agree with me that it takes years to understand someone? Some may say a few years. But how long is a few years? 3 years? or 5 years? or more? Although i noe Ahhbann for 10 years, but do we really understand each other tat much? people around us might envy our friendship that can hold for so long and might even say, "of cos understand lahhs!" But to Ahh bann n me? i guessed our answer to this question is, " we are still learning!".
Wad do CARE really mean? by asking "how are you? "or " Are you fine?"
tats wad we called CARE? or there are different meaning in CARE?
Sometimes good news isnt worth to be happy about. Everytime when good news reach my ear, it will followed by bad news. why is that so? why is this world so unfair?
Sometimes or i shud say everytime, whenever i sees them, i would envys them! I dunno why either. or maybe i dunno how lucky am i bahhs...
have eu people think of commit sucide? like, cut ur hand, eat lOts of pills, drown urself, dash out to the road, hang urself, etc...
Have anybody thought of? if you had not, den maybe eu are leading a happy life and eu noe how fortunate eu are. For those people who would think of commit sucide, i shud say its STUPID!!! Because this is avoiding and hiding!! im not pointing at anyone, cuss i myself have thought of it too.
Wad's the point? Why not stand upright and face it bravely? No one can knock eu down unless eu want it urself! think of ur love ones! will they cry a few days and forget eu? eu hold an important part in everyone's heart! Everywhere we go, there woud be shadow of EU!!
What i believe is, when eu are about to die, or have think of dying, the person that came into ur mind, is the person that eu wouldnt bear to LOSE!!! Touch ur heart and ask yourself!!
I know what ur answer is. And i noe im not the person that eu dont wish to lose! maybe ur other friends? maybe ur family? maybe ur hu n hu? i dunno! its ok too! i dun blame eu n i have never think of blaming eu either. Ur decision is correct! I respect it too! As long as eu would treasure me and hold me tight when eu are still around in this world! thats all i ask for! =))
Everyone told me eu are a straightforward person! Wouldnt care for other people's feeling. i didnt believe it at first! Just treated them as joking and helping eu to say some nice words to let them have more good image on eu den bad image. Till that day!!! den i found out, eu are indeed a straightforward person. Just saying out everything you like, not caring whether the other party get hurts!!
What kind of family leads to wad kind of person eu are! Just like me, i came from a strict, little care, full of jokes, full of quarrels, full of beating's family! people near me may noe the situation in my house. Seeing friend's around me so close with their parents make me envy's so much!! i would always tell myself, " why cant i do that? ", " why cant i joke with my parents? " I TRIED !!! i did tried! but what did i get in the end? Who cares! glum face! thats all!!
I always remember LiShao's words, " change yourself first before changing others ". had i change? or not?
getting so many evil words from their mouth, 'no brain, stupid, lazy, good for nothing, etc..' makes me so fear!!! I dislike those words that remind of my past! i wanna hide my past! but its that stupid scar n face of me makes me remember everything!!!
i hate the scar they give! i hate the comments they gave when i went for singing competition! I just hate it!!
Seeing my family laidat, makes me worry toO! will my future be the same? copy n paste? i dun feel like thinking too much!! Time can change someone! Time can change someone's heart too!
Will my future have, ' no brain, stupid, lazy, good for nothing, etc.." ? this fear had followed me for the past 10 years! hadnt i think of leaving the house? yes i had..
i cant forget the.... .... they gave me!!
i cant forget the.... .... they gave me!!
i cant forget the.... .... they gave me!!
i cant forget the.... .... they gave me!!
I JUST CANT GET RID OF THEM!!!
forget it! who would care so much bout my childhood fear! No one noes how hard it is! Who cares! Just throw in gabbage will do!
I just hate every every everything!!
Dont bother bout me!
Let me be crazy for a moment!
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ... ... ... .. ... ... . ... .. ..
Sometimes i really wish to be a witch who takes away everyone's happiness! I noe im evil and selfish. Just let me be for a moment!!
Please send me an angel...
I love You!!! <3
原来可以因为爱上一个人而改变
我其实任性 其实爱哭 其实腼腆
是你以为 你了解我的全世界
我愿为你去学习忘记自己
继续努力
*_____ 你对爱的想法 和我有了分岔 _____*
YYY
im lOving iiu .
8:12 PM
some couple may say ' nv meet up for a few days oso wont die de mahhs!'
i agreed to it too! its true that we wont die! but have eu ppl ever think before, 'few days' ? izzit short or long?
some may say ' very short only wad!' , some may say 'wahhs! very lOng lehhs!'.
but do eu all noe 1 day is equal to 24 hours !!! if nv meet up for 3 days? is 72 hours!!!
theres alOtt of things to do in 24 hours!! wad about 72 hours? dun eu agree too? or eu dont?
people may say everyone have their things to attend to. its true! keeping each other in heart will do! Yes! but... ... are they couples? or friends? friends have their own things to attend to.. keeping each other in heart will do. isnt this wad everyone is doing? wad bout couples? the same method too? i think so...
read newspaper a few days ago. came upon this news that attracted me. " i dun go out with my boyfriend for movies, meals, shopping like wad other couples did! cuss everytime when i got home after work, i would be too exhausted to go anywhere, so i would rather stay at home den go out! even going downstairs with him for dinner i would even say No! cuss im really too tired le! "
seeing this news makes me stunt! i dun even noe wad would happen to us if that day really come to us! its true that keeping each other in heart is enuff le. but... ... haiis... ... ... forget it.. ...
some people tell lies because of good deed. some may lie for bad things. but isnt white lie n 'black' lie the same? arent they LIES too? why must there be lies in this world? making friends with lies will make people around eu lose trust on eu?
sometimes i really do HATE happiness!! surprised?! its because i found out.. everytime after i feel high n happy, the next moment sadness came up n bang me! why is that so? i seriously HATE disappointment!!!
from eu. i cant see the future picture of us. to me, i wish we have future! but the picture eu gave me is so blur. i cant seem to catch ur mind... sometimes i really find that i dun understand eu at all! whenever i feel that i understands eu, eu would prove by ur actions that im wrong! am i controlling eu too much? or im not understanding at all?
Everyone had a different role to play! Alone in the room. Playing games. in career. in schools. With friends. With siblings. With parents. With ur partners. Every single part we are acting on a different role. but which is actually thr true side of us? Adding them together? or? now den i noe.. its hard to understand someone!! haiis... ....
my mind is totally blank now! cant think of anything to post. maybe next time ill post more. i dunno too! Nitees everyOne! Good luCk for my exams tmr !!! *God Bless*
counting down to Christmas... 6 days...
YYY
im lOving iiu .
1:21 AM
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
saw this in one of my friend's blog and find it TRUE !!! so i copy, paste n post it out !!! cherish ur lOve ones please !!!
[[ Please cherish what you have
and i'm saying this to no one in particular.
because we tend to hurt the ones we love most because we take them for granted,
thinking they'll always forgive us. ]]
saw this story from another friend's blog too! Which are eu? Leaf? Tree? or Wind?
The story of Leaf, Tree & Wind.
People call me “Tree”.
I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love alot but never dared to go after. She didn’t have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness,her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other’s gossip would hurt her.I felt that if she were my girl, she’d be mine ultimately & I didn’t have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years.She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, “Go on!” before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want to know what caused her to cry. Laterthat day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel.However, I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too. When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together..I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge herpresence?During graduation, I read a SMS in my mobile. It said, “Leaf’s departure is because of Wind’s pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay”
Leaf..
People call me Leaf..
During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy asbuddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt – Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, Ihide my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl. I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won’t he pursue me? Since he loves me why he didn’t he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn’t like me, why did he treat me so well? It’s beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can’t expect me a girl, to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He’s like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land. Finally, leafleft the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn’t ask me to stay.Leaf’s departure is because of Wind’s pursuit. Or cause Tree didn’t ask her to stay..
Wind..
People call me Wind..
Because I like a girl called leaf. Because she’s so dependent on tree,so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECAOne day, she didn’t appear. I felt something missing. I can’t explain the feeling except it’s a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at herusual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.It read, “Leaf’s heart is too heavy and wind couldn’t blow her away..”“It’s not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree.” I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me.Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times.Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up.If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can’t remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn’t hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked, “What are you doing? How come you didn’t want to reply?” She said, “I’m nodding my head”. “Ah?” I couldn’t believe my ears. “I’m nodding my head” She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell.During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay…
so eu are? izzit true that 被爱是幸福，爱人是痛苦? which stage are eu in den?
YYY
im lOving iiu .
1:31 AM
Monday, December 17, 2007
still rmb in the ealiest blog i mentioned bout me having fun at West Coast for Meng Hock's Bbq? lOls. just got this 4 pics to post first. the rest is on the way... ... =))
without eu, i wouldnt noe wad is the meaning of 'Xing Fu'i lOve You <3
等一个人多么孤单, 我一分钟又一分钟在忍耐
ahh douu and ahh bann! <3
there would be no laughter without eu! Lets be CRAZY !!!
Forever`Couple
Short to Tall ?? =x
counting down to christmas... 8 days
YYY
im lOving iiu .
1:37 AM
Friday, December 14, 2007
anyOne celebrating Christmas this Dec 25? Any idea on where to go? i cant think of anywhere to go. as long as he's free that day den im happy enuff le.. cuss its our first CHRISTMAS !! im looking forward!!! =))
anyway, how do people celebrate Christmas de ah?? i just lOve lahhs!!
tmr is my practical training in the morning le!!! need to wake up at 6plus!!! AHHH!!!!!!!! how to get up man!! sure late de lOhhs. cuss im late Queen mahhs. =)) STRESS ah!!!! i hope ill face it bravely n pass tmr.. God bless please!! =((
i guessed i messed up everything again!! im sorry! i decide to tell eu face to face! im sincerely saying sorry to eu! dun ask me wad is it.. cuss i tell eu when the times come.. i dunno wad the outcome will be when i told eu.. but im gonna prepared for the worst.. bless me people.. =(( im sorry!!
Missing him alOtts... ... ... <3
counting down to christmas 11 days
YYY
im lOving iiu .
8:32 PM
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Remember my previous post asking whether will he send me to gym? Well! Me, myself was lazy to wake up also den end up never go le. And... ... he didnt come too! Just as expected. Did eu answer correctly? i doubt. =))
forget to mention yesterday night my brother call me ehs. Zhao Xiang!! hohoOs. our conversation goes on like this:
ZX: Hello! wad are eu doing?
KX: hu are eu?
ZX: eu guess lahhs!
KX: orhhs. the most fat guy in our house de ah?(laughing)
ZX: (laughing) what are eu all doing?
KX: Miss eu lehhs!(smiling)
ZX: Me toO! hehees.
KX: Really?! lOls.
ZX: where's mama?
KX: on the fone scolding someone.
ZX: huhhs? cannot ask her on the fone mehhs? ( can hear that he wanna listen to my mama's voice ehs? )
KX: huhhs? er... ... but she is scolding someone ehs.
ZX: Nvm l0hhs. Bye BYe!
KX: huhhs! so fast hang liaOos ah?
ZX: Den? I use the fone secretly to call de lehhs. why?
KX: huhhs! No lahhs. Miss you mahhs. Where's Zhao Rui?
ZX: He's not here. At another cousin's house. I also miss you mahhs. (smiling)
KX: aiyoOus! Really mahhs? Den say 'i love you' to me lahhs. hahaas.
ZX: (laughing) i love you!!
KX: (laugh) okaees okaees. Bye Bye!
ZX: Bye!
Dont eu think he's cute? Lols. Really miss them lahhs. Without them at home. its really quiet lahhs! Although sometym their voice really irritate me but still will miss them lahhs. Love them too!!
Received Lishao's msg yesterday night too! Saying:
The most powerful force in the world that eu have is what eu say to urself and eu believe! eu will be the one to make things happen and not the rest who see things happen! Do well in ur exams and we are battling waiting for eu to join us as soon as eu can!
Wow! his msg really... ... Cool man!! dunno how to say lahhs. Really bring light to my path man! Thankks alOtt LishaO!!
Everytime walk across e road near my school will always have a car de lehhs. Whenever i tot e road was clear, cross half way den "pon pon", a few cars come towards me le. Den i would always tell myself, " CAR again!! Aiyaas! walk fast fast! quick! " but actually im still walking slowly. Lols. Wahahaas. tats me lahhs. Ask myself to walk faster but still the same speed. No choice lahhs. i dunno how to cross the road mahhs. lOls.
today school ended at 315pm. wahhs! fast man!! Cool uh? lOls. After the class.. walk all the way to OCBC bank. its a long long path man!!! Alone walking the long eery path just to draw money makes me so ... ... Er... ... Scared? Think im strong enuff to beat the bad fella? or thinking he will pop out to give me surprise? i noe it wont happen! Stupid me! Laugh for all eu want!! dun let me see ur teeth, ill break it! evil me uh? lOls!
after everything went over to xiao wei house. den boon lay to buy things den back home. nothing much oso. once i reach home. was tired den have a small nap till his msg reach me den wakes me up. i miss him alOtts man!! kept telling Dodo ' i Miss him!! ' i guessed Dodo going to find me irritating soon le bahhs? =x
Not long, xiaowei called me asking me to go downstairs to get something. At first i was thinking, " is he here? or she is really passing something to me? " wahahaas. when i got down, was still thinking will him surprised me by waiting for me outside my doorstep? No! my lift? No! was quite disappointed lahhs. cuss i really DO MISS HIM ALOTTS !!! till i met up with xiao wei den saw HIM !!! Wahhs!! Im HAPPY man!!!! really HAPPY lOhhs!!! =DDD *smile*
Xiaowei n Weiming came to my house followed by Jian Liang. Having fun uh? lOls. no lahhs. not fun at all.. its because with him around den FUN comes in! =))
bout 9plus.. WeiMing n me acc Jian Liang n xiao wei to friend's house. having fun at the fitness corner. lOls. den leaving them at friend's house.. we started to stroll lOhhs. Not long, Jian Liang n Xiao Wei say his friends not free.. so we go home tgt lOhhs. On the way back home is Fun lahhs. with his singing eh? i guessed he is going to open a concert just for me lahhs. been practising in front of me. wahahahas. =x
Nearby my house.. discussing on where to celebrate Christmas.. and some of our personal stuff.. he got his job too! wont be seeing him for sometime le.. Sad uh? No choice lahhs. he got his things to attend to. Me? lOls. Exam lOhhs! Wish me good luck yar? =))
im trying to be independent! im trying not to rely too much on eu! im trying to stay strong ! Please excuse me if i had not done it... im still trying lahhs...
情人总分分合合 , 可是我们却越爱越深
认识你让我的幸福 , 如此悦耳
YYY
im lOving iiu .
11:55 PM
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Recently went to view a friend's blog den saw this sentence,
"If you love someone very much, then will you let him/her go?"
have anyone tried asking urself this question? wads ur answer den? will eu let him/her go? since eu love the person, den why let him/her go? why not treasuring him/her in the best way eu can? for my case, i guessed i will ... ...
no classes today !! Yipees~ =)) Morning went for breakfast with my sister den to her school n my brother's school to buy their books! its HEAVY man!!! carry until my hands is tearing off man.
After carrying the books h0me, rest awhile, den off to Bukit Batok Driving Center to top up my account den build my courage to book for my practical training which is this saturday in the morning. Goodness! need to wake up early again le. =((
After booking den off to meet Weiming at his school MRT station. was tired on the way there lahhs. cuss nv sleep enuff last night mahhs. lOls. after meeting him den take train to Somerset to meet Alica n Wen Kang. Went to watch Movie! Alvin and the Chipmunks! Wahhs. Cute man!!! their singing is POWER!!! Nice lOhhs!! lOve them lahhs!! Cute little squirrel! Strongly Recommend!! Funny, touching n sad oso lahhs. lOve them lahhs! i wanna buy their CD !!! yeahhs yeahhs~ [ wait until i have money lahhs. lOls =x]
After lunch together, Alica n Wen kang continue shopping, den I acc Weiming to office lOhhs. =)) On the way there was quite scary lahhs. cuss got to noe my mama n my sister was near dhoby ghaut and we are supposed to walk past there. den no choice for both of us. need to walk a big round lOhhs. After he reach nearby office le, he send me to nearby MRT station first den go to office himself. On the way home, was tired lahhs!! Yawnzzzz... even standing oso can doze off! so tired uh? lOls. =x
Reaching home den went straight to bath. Brrrr..... the water is very COLD siahhs!!! after bathing for quite sometime im still shivering ehs. cover myself all over like a 'mummy' l0hhs. brrr.... Start to revise for my exams coming this Monday.. Yawnzzzz.....
Sudden think of him.. think of the past we have... fun lahhs.. Miss l0hhs...
yeahhs~ ahh bann!! "luckily there's a u always there with me" so happy to nOe when eu actually say it. =)) Rmb the rings hanging on our neck? one for ahhbann, one for ahhdouu!! The ring stands a meaning: no matter wad happen, ahhdouu will be there for eu! will protect eu!
i guessed eu feel the same to yar? Dun anyh0w throw the ring that synchronize us kaees!! =DD lOve eu !!
tomorrow need to wake up early for gym AGAIN !!! dun feel like going siahhs. will he be coming to send me there? will he give me a surprise by waiting for me below my house or bus stop? will he? i dunno too! but i guessed i nOe whether he is coming anot. cuss... ...its just that simple. tmr he's going for an interview at 2pm! Good luCk !!! =))
YYY
im lOving iiu .
11:37 PM
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
(from left to right: JuYee ; KeXin)
lOls. i saw this in my folder and found out its been very long since i saw her le. Miss her alOtts. =))
today went to Eric's Bbq. they were funny lahhs. the guys are generous too!! help to 'beng' chicken wings, hotdog and everything for us. the gals are just needed to seat down and wait to be served. =)) good uh? lOls.
At first actually i was thinking maybe just go there and help out can le. cuss... ... (wont mention here lahhs, cuss *zip* ) lOls.. was very hungry, den took out the tuna sandwich weiming bought for me yesterday and eat. Yummy~ im dam dam hungry ehs. lOls. after awhile.. when the fod was ready.. i nv touch at all.. was just alOne viewing the sea.. its was beautiful man !!! maybe can find one day, Forever`cOuple go together !! =)) after viewing the sea awhile.. here comes Eric Tan with the cheese hot dog.. dun wanna have it at first, den was like forced by him, im hungry too lahhs. thankks to him lahhs. first time eat the cheese hot dog lehhs. Nice man! with chilly especially. hmmmms... haven finish eating the hot dog, followed by Eric yue, pass me 2 chicken wings, den followed by Eric Tan's corn, satay, stingray and hot dag. FULL man !!! thankks to both Eric lahhs. kept wanting me to eat.. want me to turn fat ah? lOls.
Viewing the beautiful sea.. my eyes sudden feel so teary.. izzit i 想太多? i dunno too! anyway, thanks!! =DD bout 7 plus laidat den i need to leave le.. cuss time to go home..
thankks to Eric to company me to the bus stop which was so FAR n dark!!! lOls. He's going in army le. All the best to him !!!
yesterday afternoon, met up with him. he send me to school with 3 bread cus he n0e i like to skip breakfast de. hehees. happy l0hhs!! =DD
Night time came.. bout 6 plus laidat, my sister n I met up with xian hao below his house and walk to Jurong Point together. hmms.. saw his leg is injured. Take Care! On the way there was FUN lahhs. cuss me n my sister was like in our own world keep on chatting n laughing. lOls. =DD
reach Jurong Point den saw most of the staff selling christmas stuff.. saw them wearing the hat! I WANT !!! =x lOls. meet Jiaxian outside pizza hut, followed by Firdaus, Wei Li, Ee Soon, Yin Hao, Weng Sum. Waited quite some time den the pizza hut have space for us. lOls. was FUN lahhs!! with Firdaus entertainment on magic.. jiaxian's funny faces.. Xian hao n Ee Soon's joke n bullying. lOls. Fun lahhs. seems like even after the secondary school life.. we are still together as one! lOvess~ Was Full after having the pizza den my sister drank 3 bowl of mushroom soup. lOls. hahaas. after the dinner when we are suppose to paid. some things crop up! was feeling quite sad for jiaxian lahhs. but anyway.. he should be alright by now le. Cuss we brothers are here for eu !!!! Wont be forgetting eu de.!!! =))
After everything, one by one saying 'bye bye'! its quite sadd lahhs. cuss dunno when is the next time for us to meet again le. hope sooner bahhs. i really do miss some of my secondary school friend.. like Shu Juan.. YiLin.. etc..
哪里能找到永远温暖的拥抱?
哪里能找到受伤时候的依靠?
有谁能让我烦恼的事都不再烦恼??
他?
包容原谅所有的争吵
懂得珍惜就能够拥有
YYY
im lOving iiu .
11:27 PM
Monday, December 10, 2007
ahh bann !! this song is specially for eu de! although its not sang by me, oso not compose by me. but i really really feel Sky Wu has sang a very very meaningful song which ... ... ... dunno how to explain also, i can its perfect lahhs.. just like how i wanna tell eu and wad eu wanna tell me.. =)) especially this phrase :
幸好一路上有你陪我!!
与你分享的快乐胜过独自拥有,至今我仍深深感动
YYY
im lOving iiu .
1:29 AM
Sunday, December 09, 2007
didnt sleep well this weekends. its either not sleeping the whole day or sleep a few hours. i had to thanks Jianliang for counselling me tat day! i really did learn alOtts, its true that in a relationship , we needs to give in alOtts. its true that friends will not be with eu forever. they wont be holding ur hands for lifetime. they wont be there straight when eu need someone badly. only the person that is beside eu will follows eu for lifetime. ur parents n siblings wont too. i did learn alOtt!! but at the same time i feel touch for my dear xiao wei!! i can really say out lOud she's the most happiest woman in the world! hearing bout how Jianliang care for her, worried for her, thinking of her feelings makes me so xian mu! for so many guys that i noe, i guessed he's the best guy that really treat her girlfriend well le. im not saying other guys don't. but maybe its becos forever couple always shared the sadness n happiness together den let me really sees what all of us are doing. he can be a love expert yar?
ahhbann, i guess i cant hold the "happiest woman in the world" with eu le. but please do me this favour can? No matter wad, for my sake. be the world happiest woman! fulfil my dreams please? just like how i msg eu that day! Jian Liang! take good care of her just like how i msg eu that daY! not only eu two, even me oso sees the future in both of eu! Goes on like this! JiayOous!!
Xiao wei! yesterday at ur house, i noe im abit shi li le. waste ur tissue oso. anyway, thankks for being there for me! and thankks for ur care that eu nv fail doing it everytime.
when eu are deeply hurts, if someone came and holds ur hands, it will makes eu feel better! for this, i need to thanks xiao hwee! on the way back from Jian liang house. she's holding my hand throughout! she gave me this feeling, im not the only one alone. thankks alOtts.
just now went out with Xiao Wei, Jian Liang, Xiao Hwee n Kok Soon to boon lay shopping centre to buy some things. i buy lOtts of things, thankks to Jian Liang helping me to carry it all the way. was crazy playing with the rain with them too. its fun lahhs! back home, Jian Liang asked me this question: " eu still angry with him ah? must give him a chance mahhs. give him a chance to change.right?" My reply was: " sometimes when eu get hurts really badly... ... ..." err... i forget le! Ps ah!
but now i guessed when eu get hurts really badly, eu wont even noe what eu are supposed to do. what decision eu should make. which path is the correct way to go. all because the job eu are having now, is crying everytime when eu are alone. thats the only job. i admit im bleeding.. but im oso trying to bandage it up..
我搞不懂我们到底怎么了,诚实的背后是否住着伤口,我想不透 我们的爱怎么了,雨下过以后 ,是否,能让什么复活?
明明从前, 连争执都很甜美,现在怎会, 说句话就弄痛一边?
YYY
im lOving iiu .
4:55 PM
Saturday, December 08, 2007
After eu leave me, i will always asked myself, when is the next time i will get to see eu again... ...
my words no longer holds anything to eu le. my words no longer stands a place le. i guessed its time for me to learn not to rely on eu too much le... ... ... ... ...
why izzit every relationship will always have a before n after? before getting together, he / she will give eu something that eu yearn for.. but after getting together for not long. everything changes le. why is that so? izzit because eu already gotten his / her heart den shows that ur work is done? no more respect will be there? not as caring as before? or izzit the communication is not there? but izzit true after communicating the other party will understands?
i just seems we both are drifting further le. maybe lack of communication? or wad? but i love the feeling when im with eu. will feel that we are still the same as the past. as loving as before. but after parting... ..
are ur words true to me? why izzit sometimes i feel that it isnt true? i just that eu are saying that for the sake of saying.sometimes i wish to expect more, but end up disappointed... ...
what will happen the next minute to the people around eu, nobody noes! please treasure everyone that is by ur side now! dun make urself regret for the decision eu make. REGRET isnt a good things to handle.
i guess im not the person eu need bahhs. im not as understanding as eu think. im not as strong as eu think. but why are eu always doing this to me? just because eu think i am able to hold it? or after doing it den start telling me eu are guilty or wad? playing holds ur life so much? cant even bother bout how i will feel when i noe it? wad shud i do? what must i do? because of eu, im hating myself! hating myself for controlling eu so much! hating myself for giving eu those bu bi yao de ma fan! i guessed eu all must be thinking im really selfish bahhs... ... let it be then... im tired le. let me breathe again...
why is my heart aching when im listening to a cute song? why does my eyes fill with tears when im actually listening to a happy song? WHY??? !!!
YYY
im lOving iiu .
12:22 AM
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
i guess im falling sick soon. kept having heavy headache, flu. something wrong with my gastric i guessed. dun have any appetite at all! feel like vomiting most of the time.
Do eu really care for me? or just caring for me because eu feel that eu are supposed to care? wad i can say is ur words hurts me badly!!!
i guess this fear, stress is i brought upon myself de! if in the first place i nv choose to study in that school, this thing wont happen. if in the first place i study harder, this thing wont happen. if in the first place i say i dun wanna learn any motors, this things wont happen. there wont be stress. i guess this stupid me will ... ... ... ... i dunno...
i am very clear this is the road that i chosen, whether to end or continue is my choice. i so much feel like avoiding, but i noe it isnt helping me at all. tears kept running down my eyes. pretending to be alright, pretending to be as strong as i can in front of everybody, putting up a big smile which no one noes its fake. its really hard on me now. for now, i guess eu wont be seeing the Kexin eu all used to see le.
im really trying to be strong le... ... ...
i so much need a shoulder NOW!! just to lie on for a moment. until my tears are dried. i promise! but i guess, its impossible le!! =((
whats the purpose for me to live in this world? Do i really hate studys that much? or im just Lost of direction?
there are 8 examinations waiting for me!!! will i be facing them confidently? will i get my Dip. Cert? will my supplementary paper pass? I hope i will! and i MUST pass!!
somehow i really hope eu can study with me. not studying together in the same school with me. but just staying by my side studying our work together. revising together. just like how i accompany eu to study in the past. will this happen? or impossible? but i guessed its stupid of me to have a thinking laidat bahhs. eu had gave me an answer saying cant le. but... ... ... haiis... ...
when can all this come to an end?
God bless me please!
Everyone bless me please!!
where are eu when i need eu badly? tears dropping down my chin once again... ... ...
YYY
im lOving iiu .
5:22 PM
Sunday, December 02, 2007
sometimes the deeper eu love someone, eu will end up hating him / her when the bad ends came.
xian hao! eu may think i nv read ur blog, nv care for eu or anything. but over here let me tell eu, i did read ur blog whenever im using blog! eu mention in ur blog that eu cant move on because i only think of myself, leaving eu behind without anything and heartless. the friendship we build for the past 3 years makes eu think i am this kind of person? did eu ever think how i feel whenever i noe eu are hurting urself because of me? eu may not noe, just like i dunno wad eu did behind.
eu told me before, the more i contact eu, the more eu cant let go. He dun like me to contact eu either. i was thinking maybe its a good way den. but why it just seems no help to eu?
i really wish to ease the pain in eu! i really hope we can go back to the past with jiaxian n eu under ur block chit chatting all the nonsense.
for now i can understand why eu dun like the outings that we all set, i noe its because of my presence. if thats the case i can not go for the outings. i guess those friends will wants so much of eu to attend their outing.
i dunno how much eu hate me now. i dunno wad eu want from me either. but wad i really hope is, take care of urself! no matter is ur leg, health or studys or anything. just take care! quit smoking if eu can den. i am still a friend eu can look for when eu are in help!
take care!!
this weekend spent my days at Johore living at my mama's house. nothing to do over there, just watching television, revise my work, eat n sleep. tats all! Although it seems boring but its peaceful for me. cuss i have no worries or fear at all.
Coming back to Singapore makes me STRESS n FEAR !!!
in bed hugging dodo n cried to relieve my fear n stress. im so stress over my Examination n Motor practical training!! i need Accompany!!
Nv did i noe a person like me who so much like to ride on the Motor would actually fear to face it.
im scare to face the motor there!!! im scare to face my practical training!!! im scare to ride on it!!! im scare to book too!!
i msg to tell you my fear n Stress! i noe eu are sleeping. but i really need eu!! i dun blame eu either.
feel like calling ahh bann, but when the number is called, i hang le!
im too STRESS over it!!! i need help!! i need someone to pull me up!! someone to stand back to back with me to walk thru this.
i noe it isnt eu nor eu or eu!!! cuss this road only myself can walk thru!!
i lost the confident i have before. whenever i think of Motors!!! Examination!!! Future Jobs!!! Studys!!! im Stress!!! im really stress!!! can anyone please lend me a hand??!!! or anyone interested in motor to accompany me !!! I NEED HELP !!! Arghhs!!!
sometimes when eu are avoiding the things that eu are fear of, the more fear eu will be. but i guess, face it is the best solution. but... ... ...
i NEED you !!! =((
YYY
im lOving iiu .
10:26 PM
