Wednesday, November 14, 2007
everyone may think that im someone that wont think for others but only care for my feeling. seriously, i really dunno im that kinda of person eu think of. ur everything has shown me how selfish am i. i too notice the changes in me, izzit a bad change or good change? i dunno. i hope is change for the better.
[11 November- Alone in the MRT having this thoughts]
i started to wonder,is ur 'miss eu' true to me? is ur 'worried for eu' true to me? Should i believe it using my whole heart? i dun wanna go back to the past me which will only listen to ur words only, i wanna trust and believe every words eu told me! but, for now, izzit possible? i dunno wad happen to me! The more eu hurts me, the more i love eu! Am i torturing myself? Or im just used to being hurts by eu?
[12 November - Bugis Library]
went there to do some researches for my assignment and waiting for mr pig to come n find me. den got to saw 'MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS'. heart got itchy and went to grab the book n start reading it. inside there's a page cot my eyes;
She wants caring and he wants trust.
She wants understanding and he wants acceptance.
She wants respect and he wants appreciation.
She wants inclusion and he wants admiraton.
She wants validation and he wants acknowledgment.
She wants reassurance and he wants encouragement.
After my research, i went to meet mr pig in the MRT and he send me back home. In the MRT i was quite gan ga. cuss this few days i have been going to n fro alone. doing things by myself without him beside.can say got abit used to it le. den today he sudden came n wanna help me to take my bag, i insist on taking my own bag. den saw two empty seats, we both sat down together. Nv realy talk at all, sudden feel v strange oso. den i try to squeeze smth out to say. After awhile, he pull meto lie on his shoulder. At that moment i wanna back out, but dunno why, my body went weak n lie on his shoulder. at that moment, my tears nearly drop. it justs seems a hundred years since i have this feeling. the feeling was so strong. makes me so weak. so safe, sweet n secure in his shoulders. i love that feeling alotts. i long for that feeling! maybe thats wad we call when we lose smth den will treasure more when it comes back bahhs. On the way home, nothing much too. den went NTUC with Jian Liang n wei ming to buy just ingredients for cooking. was fun, i can say. not that kind of 'hao wan'. is because im with him! we seems to be back to normal again. =))
back home, Jian Liang send him in his bike, den i called my mom. got a big scolding from her, and i cried! wont mention wad happen. i can only say, she has NO TRUST in me!! cried in my room, den sudden a shadow came in.. ITS HIM!!!! i was surprised! my mind started to think, why is he here? isnt he left in Jian Liang's bike? how did he noe i need him at that time? he came into my bedroom, wipe my tears and push my head to lie on his shoulder again. i feel like his small princess at tat time. its the first time i cried in front of him, with him hugging me. although its sad for me but at the same time im glad n sweet!thankks!
I really wish the feeling will go on n on... dun wanna let this feeling stop anymore. this few days im really really miserable without eu! without ur care! without eu by my side! without eu in my sight!
At night eu msg me, got one sentence shock me, and my mind is wondering wad is that meaning? i dun wannause my thinking again. i wan eu to tell me. wad does it mean when eu say this ' i started to had the feeling of taking you for granted '.wad does this actually mean in u?
i hate it when ppl say i becos of boyfriend den leave friends alone! im not tat kind of person alrights! My boyfriend is also not that kind of person that will hold my freedom of not letting me go out with friends alright? When i say I cant means i really cant! Means i have smth on! And its true alrights!! Dun always take out the words ' i have boyfriend den dun wanna acc eu all' from ur mouth. please l0hhs! i dun see a need in this alright! i have my own schedule, he has his own schedule too! doesnt mean everyday cling together den shows we are in love or wad ok!
So wad if ur b'daee is on thursday! i dun give a damn too! cuss i just dislike talking to eu!!! Just Shoo!! i noe v clearly eu are not happy with me either. so dun act friendly with me too! thankks alotts.
Doesnt mean i say this den shows i dun wanna make friend with eu, but sometime, i really dun like to talk to eu. makes me really miserable by ur proud attitude! but of cos, if eu are able to change ur tone n reaction during talking, we can still chat al0tts! =))
Get giddy easily recently! headache too! Stomach still pain for me. wad siahhs.something wrong with my intestines i guess. NOT MENSTRUATION come ah! dun misunderstood ah. lOls. i feel my body is getting weaker and weaker by the days goes by. Maybe it is finding one day to faint. Lols. =D
why izzit everytime when the a guy do wrong things, the gal will forgive him? but if the same things happen to the gal, the guy would just leave er alone. why izzit when guys goes timer, most of the gals are willing to forgive their boyfriend? but wad if it happens to the gal, will the guy forgive? why izzit always the gal pleading their guys not to leave them, they still leave? but if its the other way round, wad will the guys do? and why?
Im not shooting any guy alrights. im just expressing my feelings towards this matter. it just seems unfair! if a guy slept with a woman, will her wife or galfriend forgive? mostly is yes, butif it happen to the gal?will the guys forgive? is there so many reason for a guy to slept with a woman? why izzit the gals that is more 'chi kui'? cant the guys just respects ur galfriend or wife that is around eu just like the gals did? Haiis! Noe why guys n gals are different in so many ways? cus men are from mars, gals are from venus!
i wrote this message to someone few days ago, wont mention names, names are protected due to some faulty reason. =x
[since eu noe doing that will make her angry n hurts den why in the first place still do it? Now den eu start to worried oso no use]
does everyone met this kind of problem before? so please respects n love n trust ur loves ones. eu may not noe how much eu would hurts ur loves one by ur minor words or action!
countdown to the days im leaving singapore - 6 days.
anyone wanna send me? lOls. Joking only lahhs. =))
YYY
im lOving iiu .
6:44 PM
